(Written this morning)

Beloved God, dear Angels,

I want to follow your call and uplift my energy.
I want to live in a space of peace and presence.
I want to be of service and bring peace to the world.

Apparently, I have some massive roadblocks towards that goal though, particularly anger and a sadness and loneliness that feels very old. I imagine that I need to look at that, face it, feel it, express it. Go into the darkness.

I want to tell you very clearly that I’m up for this. I no longer choose to resist darkness.

I am scared that it’ll affect my relationships if I remain (or even go deeper into) this darkness. I’m scared that I can’t afford to spend time on this while I’m not making money. I’m worried that I should be working on my business instead. But despite all that: I believe that if this anger and pain remain unresolved, I will block myself from making any progress in any direction.

***********************************************************

It’s good that you’re letting go of your resistance to unpleasant feelings. Release it even more. You’re not a bad person for feeling “bad”. Your negative feelings are messengers – if you listen to their message and act accordingly, they will transform very quickly. Also, let go of the illusion that one day, you’ll “find peace” and then you’ll stay there and everything is going to be wonderful and you’ll finally be “good enough” to teach and to guide others.

You’ll keep bumping against roadblocks as longs as healing will be part of your Divine life purpose, and that’s still quite a while. The world needs lightworkers like you to transform suffering into peace, just like we need trees to transform CO2 and provide us with life-giving oxygen.

Feeling pain does not mean you have failed – quite the opposite. If you’re truly embracing the experience, you’re right where you need to be.